you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
