LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
being pregnant is like rehab
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
