You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
