He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
