I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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