That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
are you so shy because you have an std?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
