How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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