He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
