I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
