He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
do herpes really smell.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize
