I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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