I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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