A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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