NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
