it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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