There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
