We won't sleep together?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This is my gift to your gina
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
