my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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