i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
