My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
They are going to name an STD after you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
