I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm getting married
To pizza
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
