I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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