I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
