Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
