In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
