I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
