we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
