dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
