I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
God, I missed his penis.
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