Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
