i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
