ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
