I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
