:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
