I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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