Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
