your parents love me but you hate me
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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