HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
