Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
