i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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