Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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