Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
