just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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