It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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