I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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