THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
