So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
