You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
