That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
