Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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