talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
