When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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