that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm always down for nudity.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
