jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
