you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dick very happy bro
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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